How to NOT Have Game With the Ladies…And Other Random Stuff, (you know the usual)…

Don’t stroll into a club…brag about spending $30,000 at Nobu with your pals (Nobu to me is upscale PF Chengs at this point), and then bitch about spending $8.00 on an “import” Henieken (yes I know I spelled that name wrong) beer, and still expect me to think you’re the most awesome group of guys in the world.

I’d personally be as happy as a pig in sh*t if an In-and-Out Burger opened in the city, or if I was given a tour a Red Bull Factory…

Maybe this is what makes me an extremely bizarre and odd person to many.  I’m pretty simple.

Other thoughts about my day/night:

I had WAY too much Red Bull (management who read this…do NOT worry)  I just broke out in a rash this time…I did not cry in the stairwell.

It’s gonna be tox time again very soon…oy….nothing like having botulism injected to one’s forehead to attempt to stay forever young.  Good times people…good times.

The Holidays are Upon Us…

Sorry for the delay in posts.

I slept most of the day on Thanksgiving, awoke to fresh french press coffee, then gorged on BBQ.

A few days later my domain name expired and I renewed.  I don’t have a ton to say at the moment…but I will in the next day.  I promise.

Love to Eric.

Crash Diet!

A friend of mine and I have decided to have our own little version of “The Biggest Loser”.

We are each going to try and lose as much weight as possible in the next two weeks.  Whoever wins gets a prize from the other person, a gift certificate to one of our favorite stores.

Since I’m like a white Oprah I think I’ll do pretty well.

My friend and I are very motivated and excited to put ourselves through this diet challenge together.  I’m used to crash dieting.  I know, I know this sounds bad.  The only REAL way to lose weight and to keep it off, is by losing it slowly, but I see nothing wrong with a little kick start…even if it means I’ll be a little cranky for a few days.  This means cutting out my seasonal candy obsession, but I’m okay with that.  I’m all about competition.  It always makes things more exciting.

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Once I made a $300 bet with my dad that I wouldn’t drink coffee for 6 months.  Since I was living in Los Angeles at the time, and he in the midwest, this bet was based on the honor system, and the rules were that if I DID drink coffee I’d have to give HIM $300.

Well…I made it through the 6 months without coffee-thank God I was still allowed caffeine-and one of the first things I bought with that $300 was, yes, coffee.

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“You’re a woman motivated by money aren’t you?’ asked the John Stamos-Full House Era-guy tonight.

“Why yes I am Uncle Jessie!” I replied.

“You know, I’ve heard that before.” he said.  “Is that a good thing?”

“Yeah…totes!  I loved “Full House”!” I said, “Cut it out.” (doing the Uncle Joey hand movements and all.

*

The only stipulation of my diet challenge is Thanksgiving this week, but I think I’m just going to eat mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie…those are my fave TG staples, and with sticking to those I should be just fine.

I apologize to my trainer Jeanne and my mother who are probably reading this right now and cringing.

Asphyxiation by Super Glue…and a few other thoughts…

These retro-picture postcards make anyplace look quaint and cozy.  Look at the cute little picture!

I’ve spent the past two days in a much needed meditative state of bliss in my new “weekend country home” that I share with the most wonderful man in the world.

It’s one subway stop away from the city, but I feel like I’m in an entirely different state-both-geographically and mentally.  It’s almost like being in the country, but all I have to do is look out of the window and there the Manhattan skyline awaits.

I feel so removed from “city life” for two ridiculous reasons:

We have no television here.

We’ve caught up on Season 3 of Dexter all from some pirate website…awesome!  Who needs cable or a tv when you have a laptop?!

There are NO Starbucks here…ANYWHERE…

This could be the biggest readjustment…but I’m not complaining.  I’m all about supporting local coffee spot , and sadly there becoming extinct in Midtown Manhattan.  However there is a local coffee spot that is just as expensive as Sbux, if not a little more…and we bonded with the staff there briefly over how good the chocolate Almond Milk I brought in was.

On a side note, there is the most fascinating jumbo Duane Reade with a totally rad makeup section here too.

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In my attempts to be a better handy woman and helpful to my man, I tried to repair his broken glasses by using some Super Glue.  It worked, however I left the cap off and the glue oozed all over my appointment book.  The fumes made me high, in not a good way, I vomited, and feared I nearly died from asphyxiation by Super Glue.

*

I am journeying back into the city tomorrow and looking forward to “country life” again in the near future.

Maybe a girl can have it all?  Just like Carrie in Sex in The City…(omg…I think I just threw up again in my mouth)…the perfect man, a black diamond ring, a swank pad in the city, and a chill one in an outerbourough-(I think Carrie had a place in the Hamptons, but that’s a little far away for me…at least for now.)

 

I’m Bored…

I have nothing to say today on this blog.  Absolutely nothing.  Actually I have a lot on my mind, but they say if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

So for today, I am saying nothing of any importance or major interest.

If you must know, and you even care:

I am meditating and avoiding Holiday candy.  I went for 3 days without it, binged the other night, now back up to two nights without it.  No Red Bull.  I’ll probably do some moderate pilates on the floor and watch something mindless on Netflix.  Really.

A casting director said to me just last night, “Wow…you have a really interesting and exciting life.” Well I certainly hope she’s not reading this right now.

It’s Britney Bitch!…

Eric Potter says it best. “What other people think of me is none of my business…”

And you know…it’s really not.  If someone has something bad to say about me, that’s fine.  There are two sides to every story, and usually I come out looking like the crazy one.  I’m a little crazy, but I know I am.  I’m not a horrible person, and lately I’ve grown a set of balls that’s surprised even myself (not LITERAL balls mind you)…anyways.

Not everyone is gonna love you in life…but not everyone will certainly hate you…but if they do then you must’ve made some kind of impression.

As for now…I’m only sending out the most positive vibes and energy.

WHY is Britney Spears part of this blog?  Well it’s my blog…I can do as I please with it.

TOLD…

It’s tonight…hopefully you’ll come see it…

TOLD

maybe you already did.

Day two of no seasonal candy-however I’ve probably consumed about 14 Red Bulls.

This is a boring and short blog…more tomorrow.

Follow me on twitter.

 

Chocolate, Red Bull, it’s Always something…

I have made the decision that I am not going to have ANY holiday candy today/tonight.  I’m trying to not think about this.  I’ve made seasonal candy a big part of my life and I cannot think of the last day I went without it.

Dear God, I sound like some kind of addict…I bet if I didn’t have candy for a week I’d lose 10 pounds from that alone.

“I’ll be fine…the third week in December is when the candy starts to lose it’s luster, then I won’t want it anymore…there’s a big gap between Christmas and Easter, so I’ll be safe for awhile.”  Then the realization of Valentines Day came up…oh no…One who is addicted to chocolate is never really safe.  How come I can’t be addicted to something like apples?  What gives?

I had a friend tell me to buy “fresh” chocolate from “boutiques” in Manhattan, that if I was going to be indulging, I might as well indulge in the best.  At this rate…I don’t need anymore addictions in my life that will contradict my exercise habits.

I’m growing tired.  My head hurts.  I’m in a bad mood.  I’m attributing this to the fact that I’ve had no chocolate today.  I am too lazy to get off of the couch to go buy some.  I’m going to take advantage of this and take a nap…who knows…maybe I’ll even go to bed before midnight…stranger things have happened.

 

The Coolest Holiday Gift This Year, or EVER!

This is truly the COOLEST thing ever if you are a Michael Jackson fan.  I bought ALL of them from CVS..(well all three of them).

Not the best quality video…but I predict this is going to be quite the popular holiday gift item this year.  If you want to buy one of mine…the highest bidder wins.

More later…

Oh! and This is Exciting! Come see and hear me talk about something COMPLETELY different than you ever have!

Listen, Watch, Enjoy, Read…

Well kids…it’s been an exciting week.  A bunch of people came to visit my blog according to the stats (I don’t know why, but thanks!) My mother finally added me as a friend on Facebook, I ate a WHOLE bag of Hannukah Hershey Kisses tonight (I feel sick now, but at the time it felt right…), I have another interview with RT tomorrow,  and I have been invited to perform at Seth Lind’s TOLD, in the East Village, next Monday night.  Woo hoo!

I will be speaking about my encounters with competitive eaters.  It will be really refreshing talking about something other than bikinis and breasts for once.  I’m just looking forward to the opportunity I’ll have one day about my college stint working in a mortuary….I’m just full o’surprises.

Also, I’m in a documentary…trailer coming soon.

Enjoy.