Sometimes Getting Older Sucks!
Well…I suppose it sucks most of the time. Remember wanting to turn 21 and wanting to go into bars? I had a crappy fake id and nearly blew a wad of cash on getting a high quality one when someone said, “You know, once you turn 21 that’s it. You won’t ever need a fake id again.” Well they were wrong…I want a fake id that says I’m YOUNGER, that’s what I need.
Getting older is EXPENSIVE. L
The older you get, the more possessions you obtain. Lately I’ve been obsessed with getting rid of ALL of my stuff as if I were about ready to go join some religious cult or something. I want my bedroom to look as minimal as possible, void of all personal effects, like it’s a hotel room. Maybe a few prints here and there…maybe not so much a hotel room, rather maybe a room out of a West Elm Display.
You also need to spend money to stay in good shape, like with health insurance, dental crap, personal trainers, botox and various other fillers.
I really knew I was turning into a boring older person when I decided to ditch my annual West Coast trip, going to Los Angeles/Vegas, and instead go catch up with my family in Nebraska. I rationalized…why go drop a well over a grand in Vegas, gamble away and lose money at the Hold’Em Table and chug Red Bull into oblivion, when I could just relax with the ‘rents instead? Call me crazy…but I’m glad I did, although I ate entirely way too much.
The Midwest is a weird place. I felt judged ordering my usual six shots of espresso at Starbucks, I was looked at as if I had four heads. The amount of children I encountered was overwhelming as well. My sister just had her first kid, so maybe I was just more aware of the under 4 years of age population. Seeing triplets at Old Navy was the perfect birth control for me. My sister’s baby is like a doll. It doesn’t cry or do anything. I just lays there and goo’s and laughs. I wish all babies did that.
For my birthday extravaganza I have a hired a clown that will do magic tricks and have pizza and a bunny rabbit that will hop around. I am aware that I mentioned that I don’t really like clowns or magicians…yet I’m obsessed with having such a spectacle at my birthday celebration.