Birthdays…Part one of maybe two parts…

Sometimes Getting Older Sucks!

Well…I suppose it sucks most of the time.  Remember wanting to turn 21 and wanting to go into bars?  I had a crappy fake id and nearly blew a wad of cash on getting a high quality one when someone said, “You know, once you turn 21 that’s it.  You won’t ever need a fake id again.”  Well they were wrong…I want a fake id that says I’m YOUNGER, that’s what I need.

Getting older is EXPENSIVE. L

The older you get, the more possessions you obtain.  Lately I’ve been obsessed with getting rid of ALL of my stuff as if I were about ready to go join some religious cult or something.  I want my bedroom to look as minimal as possible, void of all personal effects, like it’s a hotel room.  Maybe a few prints here and there…maybe not so much a hotel room, rather maybe a room out of a West Elm Display.

You also need to spend money to stay in good shape, like with health insurance, dental crap, personal trainers, botox and various other fillers.

I really knew I was turning into a boring older person when I decided to ditch my annual West Coast trip, going to Los Angeles/Vegas, and instead go catch up with my family in Nebraska.  I rationalized…why go drop a well over a grand in Vegas, gamble away and lose money at the Hold’Em Table and chug Red Bull into oblivion, when I could just relax with the ‘rents instead?  Call me crazy…but I’m glad I did, although I ate entirely way too much.

The Midwest is a weird place.  I felt judged ordering my usual six shots of espresso at Starbucks, I was looked at as if I had four heads.  The amount of children I encountered was overwhelming as well.  My sister just had her first kid, so maybe I was just more aware of the under 4 years of age population.  Seeing triplets at Old Navy was the perfect birth control for me.  My sister’s baby is like a doll.  It doesn’t cry or do anything.  I just lays there and goo’s and laughs.  I wish all babies did that.


For my birthday extravaganza I have a hired a clown that will do magic tricks and have pizza and a bunny rabbit that will hop around.  I am aware that I mentioned that I don’t really like clowns or magicians…yet I’m obsessed with having such a spectacle at my birthday celebration.

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