Since junior high school, I’ve had an obsession with phone pranking that could probably be considered somewhat unhealthy.
(no this woman in the bikini is not me…but I needed to show some skin on this blog for once…even if it’s not mine.)
My first phone pranking incident, where I realized I was possibly a “phone pranking genius” , (PPG), took place in my best friend, Andrew’s parents basement in Omaha, Nebraska. It was before the internet was even an embryo in a computer programmer’s head, so we relied on the Yellow and White Pages.
The first pranks, started off innocently enough. We would call businesses, one being Kentucky Fried Chicken. If a female would answer, our question was simple…yet enough to throw someone off.
KFC-Female Employee: Hello Kentucky Fried Chicken.
ME: Yes, how big are your breasts.
KFC: Uhh…excuse me?
ME: How big are your breasts, your chicken breasts?
Usually I’d start laughing and hang up. This was only the beginning of pranks to come.
Andrew and I would flip through the phone book after school. We’d go for one or two things…a number listed under a family’s name as a “teenline”-which was a blatant way of saying “This line belongs to a teenager…” or “CALL ME PETIFILES!”…considering this was WAY before the invention of caller id and *69. Our most favorite, however, was calling the parents of a fellow classmate that we didn’t like and say in a serious convincing tone that we were calling from Planned Parenthood, and that their son/daughter had been tested positive for an std. Usually the parents would sound extremely concerned. YES I know this was wrong…but keep in mind I was in junior high…again the phone pranks didn’t stop, but they evolved.
Caller ID was invented, then the *67 call blocking feature became “traceable” with various applications, etc…
My ultimate phone prank involved calling David Hasselhoff. YES…THE David Hasselhoff. I was working a temp job in Los Angeles and went through the CEO of a very big company’s Rolodex, and not only found his number, but Simon Cowell’s AND Robin Givens…so one night my mom and I called David and he was not happy to hear from us.
ME: Hey David it’s me!
THE HOFF: Who’s me? (very angry)
ME: Oh Dave…it’s me!
CLICK…end of phone call. I really wanted to call back and say, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to hassle the Hoff…” but decided against it.
Then it all changed. The Mother of all phone pranking devices was invented. This device is so unbelievably amazing that I cannot do it justice by explaining it. You just have to check it out for yourself. Click the word below:
It’s illegal in some places and illegal to use in certain ways…so use it wisely. No they are not paying me to advertise. It’s just a really cool product I like. Ahhh….the mischeif I’ve gotten myself into with this….
Yes yes yes…I am doing a reading in early June of a personal essay that your’s truly has written. Please, if you can do so, contain your excitement…and I will post more details later.
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