Deep Thoughts…

I was thinking about child actors two days ago, then I heard that Andrew Koenig, “Boner” from “Growing Pains” was missing…and then was found dead.  I never knew him personally, but I know a handful of relatively well known actors…all in various stages of fame-some of them thriving and riding the wave, kicking ass, and it’s awesome and I’m happy for them…some of them now in hiding and it’s worrisome.  Fame is a really weird thing.  I’ve had maybe 20 minutes of it, an extra five minutes to the 15 that Andy Warhol predicted that anyone would have, for really weird reasons…like going on the Ricki Lake Show twice, being on Elimidate, then The New York Post and O’Reilly Factor.    It’s not like I did anything overwhelming or notable,  I’ve just done some really interesting things I suppose, but for a moment of time I felt like I was in the spotlight.  Then the spotlight went off-or dimmed a bit-my first thought was, “Okay…I’ve done all of this press…NOW what?”  My book deal has been stalled, it’s a little depressing.  I’ve dealt with some interesting demons and I’m far from well known.  Point being: I cannot even imagine what it must be like to have a “15 minutes” of fame at a very young age, then to deal with the after effects.  Like what it would be like to play “Annie” on broadway, then to “grow out” of the part.  If anything I learned from my brief moment of time, that I looked really bad on camera, so I lost a ton of weight 😉

When I was home for the holidays, my sister and I watched a bunch of really cheesy movies, then I proceeded to look up the child actors from them on Facebook and attempt to “friend” them.  They ignored my request.  Then we found this website.  

Mr. Belding can call you for your birthday!  Awesome.

Also, to the recent “haters”, blogs are self-indulgent.  That’s why people have them. 

My eye is still bothering me, and there’s yet again MORE snow falling in NYC…lovely.  These are the moments where Hollywood calls my name….(Weather wise at least…) 

Ay ay ay…eye eye eye…

Thanks out there to all of you new readers…AND old ones alike.  A special super duper thanks to Jose Mangin of Octane for giving me a totally awesome tour of Sirius/XM studios today.  He was a gracious host and allowed me to plug both Rick’s Cabaret and my blog…woo hoo!


I fear that I have developed some sort of mysterious allergic reaction in my right eyeball.  I saw a doctor on Monday, he gave me some expensive eye drops that seemed to be working just fine….then tonight while I was trying to enjoy a Broadway show, I guess my eye decided that it no longer wanted the drops to work…I’m back at square one and in lots of pain.  Ugh…going back to doctor in the am.  Maybe I can sleep it off…let’s hope.  I’m not comfortable and I look like a total dweebo in my glasses which I fear wearing in public.


Oh man…what else is there to say at the moment.  My eye is on fire.  If you’ve ever had an eye infection it’s pretty un-nerving and can drive one insane. Stick with my blog people…I’ll post some hot half dressed women up on here later this week.

What to do…

I’m sad. 

I fear a good friend of mine has a drinking problem.  This is someone I know fairly well enough to say something to…but I just don’t know how to muster up the words or courage to without pissing them off.  This person has been a great source of wisdom to me, and annoyance and has caused me anger at times.  I don’t really know how to bring it up without starting a fight.

I think the reality is, is that when someone is facing an addiction, you can talk to them until your face turns blue, but until they’re ready to listen, they will continue to do what it is that they’re doing.

I hold no judgement against my friend, I just hold a lot of worry in my heart.


Oh my eyes…my eyes….!

I don’t know why the fact that I have an eye infection made me think of a Roy Lichtenstein print.  Maybe it’s the fact that most of the women in them are crying and all teared up, and right now my eyeball feels as if it’s on fire…ouch.  This woman displayed just fit my current state of mind.  She’s not crying, but certainly seems to be agonizing about something.  In my case.  It’s my stupid eyeball.  First it was the left, then the right, now it seems to be parlaying back over to left again.

NO…it is NOT contagious.  I have thrown out mascara, my contact lenses and cases.  It will magically disappear for a few days, then resurface hopping from eye to eye.  Despite the fact I’m using “the best” over the counter remedy from my pharmacist…it’s not enough.  I can’t even use Latisse right now…oh the agony!  My eyelashes are becoming shorter and shorter.. 😦 

Having eyeball issues can drive one crazy, the pain was so great I did not work most of last week.  Thankfully I go to the Doctor in the AM.  Hopefully my inflamed eyes can be tamed by some hardcore eye drops and maybe he’ll throw in some anxiety meds as well. Yay! 🙂

I take my vision for granted when stuff like this happens. Ugh.


More of fun blogs soon…and less of ones dealing with medical issues.  While I’m on the topic though…what’s the best kind of sleeping aid to use out there?  That’s “non-addictive”? (in reality I don’t believe that sleeping aids are NON addictive)  how can one not come to rely on popping a chill pill before they go to bed each night.  I’ve heard too many horror stories to even consider taking Ambien.  I don’t know much about Lunesta.  I have heard that Ambien CR is equivalent to taking addictive benzos.  Any feedback or thoughts on THAT.  The main sleeping ingredient in NyQuil,Benadryl, and all over the counter sleeping aids makes me crazy, I’ve developed a weird allergy to it over the years.  I just wish I could do a shot o’ Jack and pass out…but that’s not a good idea either.  Your thoughts on sleeping aids appreciated 🙂


As I write this, I must admit I caved and I’m not giving up Red Bull as I had promised myself I would for Lent. 

“You don’t really do ANYTHING bad enough to give up…just have a F’ing Red Bull!!!!”

So I did.  I had five, or six…maybe THAT’S why I need to know about sleeping aids.

Aloha…Mahalo…Domo Arigato…

SO…I have decided that I will now go to Hawaii!

It costs the same as Dubai-(I’m stuck with the ticket credit.)

The flight is just as long…who knew!?

I don’t need a passport.

I can use my cell phone.

I will be going in June to celebrate my anniversary of becoming an awesomer person.  I am going to stay at the Grand Waliea-it’s Oprah’s favorite place-and I’ve stayed there before, it’s really a magical resort with fabulous smelling shampoo and conditioner and really yummy flavored fruit water.  THANKFULLY I got my money back from the f’ing Atlantis hotel.

June just can’t come soon enough.  Today is one of those days where I really need to get an artificial light machine or go to a tanning salon. 

This message may appear cryptic unless you know me well:

This winter feels a little more colder, darker than the past few, but the light brightly shines at the end of the tunnel.  It’s still an adjustment every day, but I’m not going to say “F” it and go back on a high carb diet, if you know what I mean.

That is it. Aloha.

I Can Be!

So here’s an interesting tidbit…at least I think so.

There was a vote on for girls to choose her next career.  Barbie has had 125 careers…WOW.  You go girl.  The results are in and the “Girls Vote”-tallied up to Barbie being a news anchor.  The “Popular Vote”-tallied up to Barbie being a computer engineer.

I have not thoroughly researched Barbie’s other career choices, but I highly doubt that she was ever an exotic dancer.  One reason I did enjoy stripping was because I felt kind of like a Barbie doll, being able to wear wild leopard print and gold lame dresses, fake eyelashes, and big hot rolled hair and fun makeup.  Isn’t Barbie kind of all about looking a little vampy and sexy?  I mean just go to the website, a lot of her work wear looks a little similar to something I’d wear to my “office” on Halloween.

With that said.  Congrats on the new job Barbie.  You know where to go if it doesn’t work out 😉


I have been extremely bored this week.  I changed my work schedule up a bit.  I’ve been lucky to spend some time at home alone, and other than doing tasks such as cleaning my apartment, laundry, sneaking mini bottles of vodka to my baristas in exchange for coffee, and spend three hours of my life watching “Watchmen” that I’ll never get back (there were good moments, don’t get me wrong, but some of the film…not so much). 

I have been bored this week.  Restless and confused.  Which a friend pointed out to me that boredom is not really discontent with nothing to do, but it’s really depression.  Ugh.  Can you be depressed and not know about it?  Maybe?  Maybe I am.  I’m typically a cheerful person…I think there’s something going around.  It’s the beginning of Lent, people are giving up vices which is hard (Red Bull for me).  Maybe everyone in general is depressed.

That is everyone but Barbie who must be thrilled about her new job as a Newsanchor and/or Computer Engineer.  She’s too busy to ever become bored and depressed.

Okay…now it’s a blizzard.

The blizzard of 2010 is happening now and NOT last week as it was supposed to.  It’s been snowing all day and it’s cold.  This weather makes me cranky and not want to leave my house.

Could have Seasonal Affective Disorder?  Should I just up and move to Florida or back to Los Angeles?  Maybe I’ll get one of those light box thingy’s.


I’ve decided to give up Red Bull for Lent.  EVERYONE is happy about this.  I have a taurine problem and was actually cut off from Rockstar Energy Drink from my friend when I was in Vegas.

“I think you need to stop drinking those.” she said, very carefully, afraid that she would piss me off.  I wasn’t mad, I laughed. 

So I am drinking my first of the last Red Bull’s before Lent begins.  I’m not Catholic, but I still wanna show my appreciation to the Big Guy upstairs.

I think this all for today.

Working on new manuscript…details to be launched soon.

I have stumbled upon “De-motivational posters”…It will make this blog more fun for us all.

Get a Hint…

I don’t usually like some of Pink’s stuff…but man…this song fit the last 48 hours to a “t”.

Seriously, to the men in my life…the one’s with girlfriend’s that are LYING to me about it, wanting to “hang out” and “meet up”…like seriously?  I see through it.  Leave me alone please, or at least grow some balls and admit that you’re up to no good.  At least I’d have some respect for you.  You’re not getting anymore attention from me after this “video dedication”.  Get a hint.

Other than this rant…I had a decent day…ate too much, drank too much coffee…but all is well. 

Dead of Winter…writers block persists..

I think it’s safe to say that’s officially the dead of winter.  With that, comes a lack of creativity and writers block once again.  This weather is just depressing with the grey skies.  Am I saying that I’m depressed?  No I am not.  But the weather affects my mood (along with the massive amounts of caffeine I’m ingesting).


I came to the sad realization last night that no matter how much I will try to change it, Ipod Guy and I aren’t romantically compatible.  We get along as friends, have a jolly good time together, but it’s no real love connection.  I’m not upset about this, in fact I kind of knew that there weren’t going to be wedding bells, but when both parties are like, “Yeah, you’re really cool…but it’s just not gonna happen and we can’t really put a finger on WHY it won’t.”  It sucks.  He told me that he hates the Ipod Touch I got him.  Apparantly he’s more of an old school Ipod Guy, and I still think that he’s an asshole at times, and he knows that.  How many frogs does one have to kiss?  Like really?…this is annoying.  I’m getting too old to try and jam a square peg into a round hole.  😦  I knew it wouldn’t work…but there’s always that cruel evil mistress called “Hope”…or honestly, maybe it’s more boredom than anything and lack of meeting anyone else I’m into.


For the love of God I wish this writers block would go away…that I would have something more interesting to talk about than what I’m watching on tv, how much coffee I’m drinking, and the two essays I’m editing this weekend.

I’ve been watching Celebrity Rehab on VH1.  How is it that Amber Smith is like the world’s prettiest recovering addict…I mean, last season, she looked good even though she was addicted to booze and pills.  I can’t even have a few glasses of wine without my face exploding to the size of a pumpkin.  What’s up with that?