My Second Annual Miss America Recap Blog…

Well tonight certainly was a big night in my apartment!  I spent the majority of it shacked up watching Miss America.

DISCLAIMER: If you don’t understand my sense of humor and can’t see that I’m poking fun at a pageant system that I was once a participant in…STOP reading NOW.

Mario Lopez hosted, again.  It was cute.

Rush Limbaugh was a judge, unfortunately he didn’t have an opportunity to say much.

The opening “dance” number-and I use “dance” very lightly because it was more like just a jazzercise routine for senior citizens routine, was performed to The Black Eyed Peas, “Tonight’s Gonna Be a Good Night”.  The music played between each round was very porn-esque, as they waited to announce who would proceed to the next round.

I am THRILLED to say that Miss Nebraska made it quite far this year.  I was quite excited about this.  It’s been awhile since the Cornhusker state has broken into the top at all.  I found myself shouting with glee out loud alone in my apartment.  Wow.  She had a stellar evening gown, killer swimsuit bod, and although she did a jazz routine to one of my fave Broadway songs-I wasn’t thrilled by it.  That girl must’ve given a stellar interview…the Miss America system is a TOUGH pageant (I’ve competed in pageants before…fyi…if you didn’t know that already).  Bravo Nebraska!  Bravo!

Other highlights and girls that stood out:

Taylor Treat, Miss Oklahoma claims to be obsessed with sweets and treats and just loves her Iphone!

Miss District of Colombia-that reminded me a bit of Heidi Montag post surgery-aspires to get her motorcycle license!  WOW!

Miss Texas…there was just so much…so much.  For starters, I’m pretty sure she wore a bumpit, and was a “pet nanny” for six different companies.

I still cannot get over that girls are STILL singing “I Will Always Love You”…during the talent portion of the show…I mean COME ON.  Yes, it’s hard, yes the girl sang it well…maybe I’m just scarred from the amount of times I’ve heard it in my life.  In pageants and karaoke. 

The winner, Miss Virginia, was great…even though she sang “Listen” from “Dreamgirls”…a pageant wouldn’t be a pageant though without someone singing something from that..or West Side Story (yes someone sang something from that too) 

I think the most INTERESTING sponsor of this pageant was:


Wow.  Seriously?  I’m just fascinated by that.  It’s good for those girls though.  Now they can all join together and open a store somewhere and sell Amway products post-competition.

Now here comes the interesting part of this blog that a lot of pageant people may hate me for bringing up…but personally if I was in Miss America, and I lost, and if the pageant was held in VEGAS…like it has been for the past few years.  The FIRST thing I’d do after would be to go get wasted and probably head to a strip club and tell customers that I just lost the pageant=a pretty good profit if you ask me.  Let’s face it.  You know that some of those girls are wasted in Vegas right now as we speak, drowning their sorrows in martini’s and moving on to post pageant life.  It’s not so bad girls…trust me on this.

You can see my “live” commentary on my twitter page if you’re bored:

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