My Second Annual Miss America Recap Blog…

Well tonight certainly was a big night in my apartment!  I spent the majority of it shacked up watching Miss America.

DISCLAIMER: If you don’t understand my sense of humor and can’t see that I’m poking fun at a pageant system that I was once a participant in…STOP reading NOW.

Mario Lopez hosted, again.  It was cute.

Rush Limbaugh was a judge, unfortunately he didn’t have an opportunity to say much.

The opening “dance” number-and I use “dance” very lightly because it was more like just a jazzercise routine for senior citizens routine, was performed to The Black Eyed Peas, “Tonight’s Gonna Be a Good Night”.  The music played between each round was very porn-esque, as they waited to announce who would proceed to the next round.

I am THRILLED to say that Miss Nebraska made it quite far this year.  I was quite excited about this.  It’s been awhile since the Cornhusker state has broken into the top at all.  I found myself shouting with glee out loud alone in my apartment.  Wow.  She had a stellar evening gown, killer swimsuit bod, and although she did a jazz routine to one of my fave Broadway songs-I wasn’t thrilled by it.  That girl must’ve given a stellar interview…the Miss America system is a TOUGH pageant (I’ve competed in pageants before…fyi…if you didn’t know that already).  Bravo Nebraska!  Bravo!

Other highlights and girls that stood out:

Taylor Treat, Miss Oklahoma claims to be obsessed with sweets and treats and just loves her Iphone!

Miss District of Colombia-that reminded me a bit of Heidi Montag post surgery-aspires to get her motorcycle license!  WOW!

Miss Texas…there was just so much…so much.  For starters, I’m pretty sure she wore a bumpit, and was a “pet nanny” for six different companies.

I still cannot get over that girls are STILL singing “I Will Always Love You”…during the talent portion of the show…I mean COME ON.  Yes, it’s hard, yes the girl sang it well…maybe I’m just scarred from the amount of times I’ve heard it in my life.  In pageants and karaoke. 

The winner, Miss Virginia, was great…even though she sang “Listen” from “Dreamgirls”…a pageant wouldn’t be a pageant though without someone singing something from that..or West Side Story (yes someone sang something from that too) 

I think the most INTERESTING sponsor of this pageant was:

AMWAY.

Wow.  Seriously?  I’m just fascinated by that.  It’s good for those girls though.  Now they can all join together and open a store somewhere and sell Amway products post-competition.

Now here comes the interesting part of this blog that a lot of pageant people may hate me for bringing up…but personally if I was in Miss America, and I lost, and if the pageant was held in VEGAS…like it has been for the past few years.  The FIRST thing I’d do after would be to go get wasted and probably head to a strip club and tell customers that I just lost the pageant=a pretty good profit if you ask me.  Let’s face it.  You know that some of those girls are wasted in Vegas right now as we speak, drowning their sorrows in martini’s and moving on to post pageant life.  It’s not so bad girls…trust me on this.

You can see my “live” commentary on my twitter page if you’re bored:

www.twitter.com/wallstreetstrip

This entry is not for small children…

As if anything on Wall Street Stripper would be geared towards kids…but hey, you never know.  Come to think of it…I suppose small children will not be frequent visitors to www.wallstreetstripper.com -I still felt a disclaimer need.

With that said, I received a variety of emails the other day from a woman named Jody giving me instructions on babysitting her daughter, Lily, for the day.  Very specific instructions.  apparently Baby Lily was even going to be dropped off at my house!  Wow! Uh oh…  I emailed her back saying, “I don’t think you have the right Randi Newton.”  I almost told her to check out my blog though.  I’m good with kids, I used to be a nanny if you remember correctly.  Perhaps she had me confused with the teen Randi Newton from Canada.  Who knows.

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So in a state of boredom I texted “Ipod Guy”…we’ve barely spoken since the whole incident.  He’s being mean to me and won’t fess up or apologize.  Tonight I thought I’d have a little fun so I texted him this:

“Wanna hang out?”

His response: You can come over and then leave.”

Oooooooh HELL no.  I wrote back: HA-too much effort for so little pleasure.  Do you REALLY think I’m that desperate?”

Note: I’m not desperate I was just BORED and out with friends!

He writes:If you can treat it as a F**K and come over now and leave as soon as your finished. Your call.

I text: HA ha…re read my last text, thanks but no thanks.

He writes back: Eh…forget it.  I mispoke.

You can’t do that?  You can’t diss me after I’ve dissed you!  Well, he tried, so I write back:

Have fun J**KING off with your cat.

I haven’t heard back from him.  I hope his Ipod breaks.  On a side note, I’ve heard that the new Ipad is just a “Really big Ipod Touch”.  Lucky I didn’t buy him one of those!

In all seriousness.  I am a forgiving person.  It takes sincerity and a PROPER apology.

I’ve learned so much already in 2010.  Don’t give people Ipod’s who don’t deserve them, and definitely MOST definitely pay the $60.00 “insurance fee” when you book a plane ticket on Orbitz.com 😦

The Only Logical Next Step!

I’m sitting in a diner above waiting to eat a grilled cheese sandwich with tomato, onion, and fries…mmm.

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So what happens when you plan a trip to the desert that falls through at the last minute?

You take your brand new West Elm credit card that has a $3,000 limit on it, and decide to totally revamp your apartment!

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A few weeks ago I was at West Elm.  I do not LOVE West Elm.  I personally consider it a step above Ikea.  I have issues with buying a desk for close to $300, only to realize that I’m supposed to put it together myself…I mean…come on.  It’s a slightly nicer version of Ikea.  If I’m paying THAT much for a piece of furniture it needs to come to me assembled.

I’ve never bought ANYTHING full price at West Elm, and never plan on it.  So last week when I was there killing time and buying some super cheap-o stuff that was on clearance, they asked me if I wanted to apply for a credit card…”Sure!  Why not?”  In just moments I was approved!

So I get the card in the mail a few days ago, and in my bored state of my mind today I decided I’d go in and buy something awesome for myself…low and behold, I didn’t really find anything I liked at all…and certainly nothing that I was willing to max out the card for.  So I left empty handed.  It’s ironic I have two credit cards to stores I don’t even really like, but I suppose that’s a good thing and avoids shopping and debt dilemmas.

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My other computer is still broken.  This has turned out to be a very good thing.  I’m rarely online, but more productive in actually writing things, and leaving the house more-even though my spree to West Elm could’ve been disasterous…oh well…at least I don’t have an “Apple” credit card.

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Yvette.  I miss you.  This sucks.

And once again…life seems mundane…

Thanks to all who are reading.

I feel bad.  I’ve hit another proverbial wall of writers block.  I don’t know how much I’ll have to say, or if you’ll find any of this interesting in the least.

Like many things in life, my trip to Dubai has fallen through.  I’m incredibly dissapointed. (the sex ring got busted! NOT.haha…just had to throw that in there).  I suppose with 2010, in addition to trying new things, I’ll still hit the same roadblocks as I always have.  But that’s part of life, right.

Jonathan.  Email me.  I’ll fill you in.  Sorry I haven’t been up to date on your blog. 

I’m merely posting this entry because I know that if bloggers don’t keep blogging they lose readers.  I don’t want to lose any of you.  Frankly, right now all I want to do is crawl under my duvet and overdose on Gan Mai Da Zao Tang…sigh..ugh.  Such is life.  Always a constant learning experience and occasionally a let down.  I’m not even spell checking on this.  I’m THAT lazy today.

Reason, Season, Lifetime?

I don’t know can we? I never usually can.  At least not for awhile.  What’s the “reason” you were in my life at all…maybe I’ll never know.  I thought I had an idea.  I guess I was very wrong.

Boring weekend blog…

So this weekend was pretty un-eventful for me.  In a really great way.  I went to Park Slope to hang out with my good friends and their new baby. I had way too much coffee, not enough food, came home ate a veggie burger, then watched the new Lifetime original movie, “The Pregnancy Pact”.  It was amazing in that Lifetime movie sort of way.  Now I am getting ready to go through a ton of crap and throw some stuff out.  I debated trying to go see Lady Gaga tonight, maybe stand outside, buy a ticket or something..but I didn’t have the energy or patience to bother.

Doesn’t this sound like an exciting Saturday night!  I’ve been in my pajamas since 7:00pm.  I don’t care what people think.  I live for nights that I can simply relax and do nothing but watch mindless television and zone out.

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Ahh…Dubai is coming up in less than two weeks.  A male friend texted me asking what I’m up to, I told him I’m going to Dubai.  His immediate response:

“I bet I know what you’re doing there.”

NO I am NOT going to Dubai to be a hooker, or to strip.  For the love of God people.  Can I not simply go visit a friend who happens to live in the desert without being scrutinized-in all seriousness, I do get a kick out of people assuming these things. Anyways.  I don’t really have much news to report.  Hopefully your weekend was a lot more exciting than this blog post that you’ve just read.

Timing, exes, travel, etc…

So it’s day two of attempting to surf the net less on my “work” computer…and I must say it’s going okay.  Not GREAT but okay.  If anything, switching from a laptop to a netbook is like trying to squeeze a fat guy into a little coat…not gonna happen, or be very comfortable or happy while doing attempting it.  So the only thing I can do on this teeny tiny screen with ease is blog and use wordperfect.  The TWO very things that I pretty much bought this computer for.  Anything else is a strain.

The timing with my computer breaking is very interesting.  My ex-boyfriend completely reconfigured my old one exactly a year ago.  When things ended between us…and they didn’t end well AT ALL (check out my archived May 24, 2009 entry for the full details), I wanted as little to do as possible with him.  We tried to maintain a friendship, but after an argument that ended with him literally running away from me, and me chasing him through Times Square…I think we both knew that we kind of hated each other.  It certainly was a good  cardiovascular workout though.

I am only in touch with my ex if I have to be…and for the most part we can avoid each other.  However, we know plenty of the same people, and it’s ironic that our lives are oddly parallel.  Our sisters are both expecting their first babies-with an almost identical due date.  We’ve both recently gotten into new relationships that most people would classify as “CRAZY”…but knowing him, and I suppose knowing myself, there’s that extreme element of hope we have that these relationships that have been formed from odd circumstances, will work out for the best.

And wouldn’t you know it…as soon as I hear these updates about his life…like clockwork, that computer of mine he fixed, has completely died and broken down.  Interesting.

Do I wish him any ill will? 

I’ve said this before, and truly I mean it.  I only wish people to get what they karmically deserve.  I’m a firm believer in treating others the way you’d like to be treated.  So to you my ex…and ALL of my exes.  I wish for you to only experience the feelings and emotions that you displayed towards me tenfold.  Some good. Some bad.

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It’s weird maintaining friendships with exes.  Unless there are no romantic feelings or feelings of resentment from either party, it doesn’t seem like a platonic relationship can be possible.  At least that’s the way I feel.

Another thing…it’s hard when you see an ex, treat the successor to your relationship, so much better than they’ve treated you.  I see the engagement ring that one of my first true loves gave his-now wife-and I never even got flowers from the guy and we were together for over a year-she got flowers the second date.  Maybe he just knew that something would be different with her, than me.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m glad it didn’t work out with us.  I’m not crying over it.  However the human ego is a fragile thing…it just makes me wonder how chemistry and timing work.  I suppose they work in our favor, but sometimes we’re not meant to understand the whole “WHY” of it all until much much later.

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I told my Dad I was going to Dubai today.

“What…?  Dubai?”

“Yes.”

Then my mom, “Don’t get into a car with anyone you don’t know.  You should watch that movie “Taken”.”  wow…thanks Mom…I have been wanting to see that movie.  I told her that I’m most likely considered to be too old to sold into sex slavery at my age, but she’s still convinced that it’s possible.

“One of those foreign men, might want a real woman, and you look really good.”  Oh mom!  I’ll be fine.

I don’t even have any fun phots to post on my blog…They’re all on my old computer.  So enjoy this lovely default.

Ok, Computer?

One of my laptops broke.  The one that I usually only use for travel and “work”-ie. writing-aka BORING stuff, is FINE.  The one that broke is the one that I use to kill hours upon hours playing on the internet.

I think it’s good timing that it broke.  I need an excuse to NOT waste my time on the world wide web as much as I have lately.  All of my music is on it…but I still have my Ipods, so I’m covered in that department.

Along with this computer malfunction I feel as if my brain isn’t really functioning in it’s full writing capacity as of yet this week. What to blog…what to blog…?

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I am trying to figure out what I should bring to Dubai to wear.  Jeans?  Turtlenecks?  Baggy clothes.  I still can’t believe I’m going halfway across the world in less than two weeks!  The farthest I’ve ever been away from New York has been Hawaii…so this should be interesting.

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A special thank you to my reader who messaged me from Portugal.  You made my day!

Mini Blog…I saw Snookie from the Jersey Shore!

I am exhausted, happy, and going to bed, after a fun night at work.  I’ve attempted to write two other blogs that required too much thought for how sleepy I am.

I will say this.  I’m 100% sure I saw Snookie from The Jersey Shore on the street today getting her photo sketched in Times Square.  Completey with Uggs and an Ed Hardy hat.  I stopped for a moment and debated going to see if I could get a pic of her.  Then I realized that if it was NOT Snookie I could maybe offend this girl.  I kept walking.  Then I asked myself…would Snookie get herself sketched in Times Square?  Immediately I knew the answer would be yes.  Who knows, maybe it wasn’t her.  Once I thought I saw Whoopi Goldberg at a piano bar, years ago, but in fact it was really a man…but I was drunk…

Beyond exhausted and going to bed…check back later or tomorrow for a new exciting blog that’s in the works!

(I’m so tired I’m not even running spell check tonight. Or posting a pic)

Mad Men…Season Four where are you?!?

Does anyone know when season four starts?  I’ve recently just started watching this show and it’s just amazing!  I don’t know what took me so long to hop on the Mad Men wagon.

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As a former actor- and I say FORMER because as much as I’d still like to pursue an acting career, and that I have invested A LOT of time and energy and money into doing so-the chips simply haven’t fallen in my favor quite yet.  It wasn’t working the way I had expected, so I put my energy into writing, blogging, other interests, etc…you get the picture.

I do not turn down the right auditions, but they don’t come my way as often as I’d like.  I spend more time focusing on writing at this moment…but by all means casting directors…call my agent (Penny Luedtke) if any roles come up you think I’d be appropriate for.  Thank you in advance. 🙂

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With that said, as a former actor…the writing on Mad Men is seamless, the character development AMAZING, lots of double entendres. Also lots of good opps for product placement-duh…obviously.  I suggest you start watching this show as soon as possible.

For a completely DIFFERENT form of television in it’s own popular genre-I suggest The Jersey Shore.

To the creators of Mad Men…BRAVO.

To the creators of The Jersey Show…BRAVO.

You have both succeeded with popularity and publicity and ratings.

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When I first moved to NYC, over ten years ago, I had a very Don Draper-esque casting couch opportunity. I had sent my photo into an advertising agency looking for females for a pet product industrial, commercial, what have you.  Rather than go to an audition, I was invited to the agency immediately to meet with the very young and attractive “Creative Director”, whose name I can still remember, Brandon.  The “audition” consisted of him interviewing me, asking me about my hobbies, likes,dislikes…it was proffessional-yet he was attractive, tall, dark and handsome-very Draper-esque.  After about 30 minutes he said, “Well, you’ve got the job!  I’ll let you know when we shoot.”

Was it THAT easy?

A few days later my phone rang.  It was Brandon calling to say that things had been pushed back/project on hold, but would I like to grab dinner?  Being put on the spot, I agreed, we set a date…then I chickened out-knowing that something wasn’t quite right about the whole thing…and cancelled via email.  He wrote back a polite email saying that he was leaving the firm at the end of the week.  Perhaps he had tried the same strategy with someone else who ratted him out, and lost his job.  Oh well.  I remember Brandon quite well.  Dark hair, stunning blue eyes.  Hell, I had a boyfriend at the time.  Had I been single maybe I would’ve had dinner with him…who knows…

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I think in a perfect world if I could live the life of my fave television shows I watch, it would consist of this:

I’d be a vampire working in advertising, and as a side job probably strip-since that’s a nocturnal friendly position.  I’d also like a personal trainer like Jillian Michaels from The Biggest Loser, however, since vampires don’t eat, and they are technically “dead” I guess a trainer would be counterproductive.

That is all.

Anyone know when season four starts?!?!