Vices…

My one “treat” of the week is a rationed 0.25 tab of xanax that my Dr has given me.  It was prescribed for my upcoming trip to Vegas for my flight.  She only gave me a limited number. I am allowing myself to take one a week.  I choose a night where I know I can oversleep so I can fully enjoy it.  It makes me feel warm and fuzzy when I take it, kind of like a nice glass of wine…but xanax is highly addictive and rehab is expensive so once a week is all I’m allowing myself.  It does kind of suck the next day in a way because I end up sleeping entirely way too much, but then again people tell me how refreshed I look so it must be kind of good for me.
I always have had problems sleeping and recently I’ve just come to the conclusion that as much as I’d like to get a good nights sleep EVERY night, that it just can’t happen that way.  So some times I’ll be able to sleep well, and some I won’t as much.

Everyone has vices.  It’s how we handle those vices that determine whether or not something becomes an addiction or “owns” us.  I know someone who pops xany every am and pm.  When they try and stop, they shake and break out into cold sweats.  Lately in giving up my fave vice-booze-at least for the time being and to give my little liver a rest, I’ve transferred my “vice” to something else.

At first it was shopping…going to Old Navy and purchasing random items I didn’t really need.  Thankfully, keeping the reciepts and returning almost everything the following day.  Maybe I just wanted a shopping spree.  Why I chose Old Navy of all places I do not know.  My latest vice is going to the gym every day and eating very little and extremely healthy if possible.  This may also have to do with the fact that I’m going to Vegas in less than a month and I need to look good at the topless pool.
I know someone who gave up ALL of their vices. Drinking, drugs, sex, video games.  When you have no vice…what do you do?
“That’s the thing…” a friend said, “Giving up all of your vices, becomes your vice.  The obsession of maintaining your abstinence becomes your new vice.” Well…that certainly doesn’t sound like much fun.
I’m on twitter…you can follow me “wallstreetstrip”-I think that you can see my “twits” on the bottom of this page.  Similar to my blog, you will probably find them boring and mundane at times.  Lately my twitter account has been somewhat of a food diary that resembles someone with an eating disorder…but I assure you…I do not have one.


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