Brookstone is selling live frogs…amungst other things…

So I was walking past Brookstone the other day.  I was going to look for a really cool night light that I left in Los Angeles when I moved, and I saw this in their display window, and stared in horror:|mn_flash|633156P|new|s1

This disturbed me.  When I lived in LA some Targets were selling live frogs, well…most of them were dead that were on display.  It was a bit creepy.  I guess Brookstone decided to really perfect it a few years later and re-market.

So I enter the Brookstone looking for this night light and the young annoying salesguy approaches me:

“I saw you looking at our are the frogs.”

“Uh…no thanks,I don’t really have time or energy for pet frogs at this point in my life.”

“Let me tell you something…you do.  You don’t even need to feed them.” He started to go off on a tangent about why I should buy frogs from them, and I stopped him.

“I’m sorry, but no offense, I’m too old to have pet frogs!”  His face fell into sadness, along with another salesguy in his late 40’s.  I had a feeling they had purchased pet frogs with their employee discount.  I walked around the store and was ambushed  by several other employees asking if I was looking for a gift for someone.  I didn’t even bother to look for the night light.  I saw an “insomnia machine”, that seemed intriguing until I noticed it’s $200 price tag.  No thanks Brookstone!

Someone I work with has a pet mouse.  This person is in their late 20’s.  I do not mean to offend those of you who have pets such as these, but I would not be caught with a “elementary school” pet at this point in my life.  Anything smaller than a housecat doesn’t appeal to me.  I think if I walked into a guy’s apartment and saw a gerbil in his living room in a cage with a wheel…I’d be a little turned off and sceeved out, and I’d probably start thinking about Richard Gere.

On a bittersweet note…there ARE still nice guys out there…of course you don’t always end up with them. For the FIRST time ever, I had a guy on the rebound be HONEST with me.

I had been spending some quality time with a male friend of mine.  We were mainly friends, but of course at times were more than just that.  This male friend and I have known each other for well over a year.  We both had weird timing with relationships.  He was in one…I wasn’t…I was in one…then he wasn’t.  Then we both were getting over our ex’s, and spent some quality friend time together.  I wasn’t really sure what was happening, but I was really excited to get to know him better and spend time with him.  All the while, I knew he missed his ex.  He told me.  He kept me posted. He was 100% honest, and he’s basically told me they’re getting back together.  I’m bummed!  Sure I am…but you know what.  We’re still friends.  He was honest about the whole thing.  I have so much respect for him for that. I knew from the get go what his deal was.  He never hid anything.  Of course I don’t want things to work out with his ex, but you know what…ultimately if that’s what will make him happy…maybe that’s what I do want.  Of course I miss getting the “hi pal” text messages I got from him before they got back together, and I probably won’t be spending that much time with him now that she’s back in the picture.  I got the respect I wanted.  He’s an upstanding guy, and if things don’t work out with him and his ex, I’d be more apt to give him a shot because of his honesty. I have no respect for liars.

Just Another Exciting Day in The Life…

Today was pretty eventful for me.  (note sarcasm).

I went to see my shrink, then I went to H and M and looked at a cheap sundress that was on sale for $10.  It was the third time I’ve looked at this dress and I decided I really do not like it or want it.  My deciding factor on whether or not I’ll purchase something usually has to do if I go home and obsess about it, or dream about it.  I had both of those things happen with this dress.  However, when I went back to the store for the THIRD time I knew that I didn’t like the dress.  I think when I dreamt about it, it was prettier and maybe made of chiffon or something to the effect.

So as I was heading down the escalator I noticed a girl standing in line waiting with amazing legs and an extremely short skirt, her shopping bag had caused her skirt to expose one half of her perfect cellulite free ass.  I’m sorry…but I stared at it for a second, it was an amazing ass…then I went up to her (as my mom told me to do in high school when this happened to cheerleaders-“Even mean ones” she would say) and I told her, despite the language barrier that her ass was showing, she motioned for me to help her, so I pulled her micro skirt down for her.  That was my good deed of the day my friends.

I then went to Banana Republic and bought a Chanel inspired sweater dress on sale, that is short sleeved.  Since it’s short sleeved, can I wear it during the summer?  Or no?  Ah…fashion questions.  Exciting stuff I know.

It’s been raining in New York for so many days that I’ve lost count, this weather is miserable.

Should I Get a Dog?

I know what some of you are immediately thinking: “NO…NO Randi do NOT get a dog..DO NOT.”

I probably won’t, but figured that it would make an interesting blog.  Scientific studies have proven many things, one of them being that people who own pets-dogs in particular live longer and are happier. I believe we chatted about this once Jonathan?

I knew a girl once, and only one person reading this probably knows this story-(A.) The girl was kind of a bitch, but as soon as she got a dog her entire life changed.  She became a TOTALLY different much happier person.  People could tolerate her, they noticed a significant change in her attitude.  Her dog was really adorable, it wasn’t a “pocket dog”, it was a terrier mutt of some sort and it went with her everywhere.  I did think it was strange of her to bring it to a bar in the West Village one night, but nonetheless, it was still a cute dog.  The girl even bought a CAR specifically to take her dog into the country over the weekends.

Eventually, something very sad happened.  Her dog was hit by a car and it died in her arms.  She went back to being kind of a bitch, but I had heard she had reverted back to bitchy ways before the dog died anyways…so…my point is.  She’s been too heartbroken to get another one since.  Man that’s depressing…

Should I get a dog?  I don’t think I’m a miserable person in the least, but who couldn’t stand to be a little more happier in their life?  Then I start thinking about how much money dogs cost, and how they’re almost kind of like little kids.  Maybe I’m not ready for a dog yet.  I wonder if I could “rent” a dog.

The truth just keeps coming out!…

I just got home from a nice evening out, but some interesting things happened.

Things with the last guy I dated ended a little over a month ago.  A friend that I saw tonight, told me some “unsavory” things that my ex tried to pull over on me while we were dating.  He didn’t realize how many mutual friends he and I, and the other female involved, all had.  Very VERY stupid on his part.  Sure, things are over between us now.  Hearing more about how dishonest he was to me, only makes me happier that I’m out of the situation.  The lies he told me just keep coming out from everywhere!  It’s crazy!  If you’re going to make your main hobby outside of work juggling women and lying, I suggest you get better at it, and date outside of your social circle to avoid conflicts and things coming to bite you back in the ass.

I was also told that he got back with his ex.  Am I upset about this, if that’s indeed the case?  No.  I wish her the best.  She’s a very nice girl.  I wish for him to get exactly what he deserves…I’ll leave that up to karma.

Religion and dating…

I once pretended that I was Jewish to date someone…’s not that I actually said “I’m Jewish.”  I just never said I wasn’t.  I’d bring up my half Jewish cousin’s bar and bat-mizvahs at least every other time I saw the guy so he’d believe that we were raised in the same faith.  Eventually after two years of dating, he admitted that he knew I wasn’t Jewish the entire time, yet got a kick out of me trying to keep up the act…it wasn’t much of one.

My last REAL serious relationship which was almost 9 years ago involved a guy who was Baptist…yet he claimed he was atheist, I think he said that moreso to appear as bit of a rebel, and to appear “cool” to me.  Yet he had some bibles, and some other religious artifacts around his apartment.

I think the strangest religious background I have encountered in dating, however, are Buddhists.  I have been involved with two men who have claimed to be Buddhists.

The first one talked a good game.  He explained Buddhism as a loving, accepting, “free” religion.  He was easy to get along with.  I saw right though his act though, and after two dates-pushed him into the friend zone.  I’m sincerely glad I did that, because I witnessed the havoc he wrecked on the two-five girls he strung along at the same time.

The second one was a different story.  Smooth talker and liar, telling me what I wanted to hear.  Also explaining Buddhism as being able to “do as I please” and “be accepted”,  and not being “deprived” of certain things.  He told me that he was monogamous with me, and didn’t have the desire to see other women.  I gave him more than plenty of opportunities to let me know if he felt differently.  Yet, he still told me he stood strong on his love for me.  He FORGOT to mention that he also felt this way about his ex-girlfriend-that he was still sleeping with, and a few other girls that he’d hook up with from time to time.

It doesn’t really make sense saying, “I want to be free to do as I please…” and yet turning around in the next breath saying, “I just want to be with you…” do those cancel each other out?  I didn’t know that lying and deception were part of Buddhism.  Did I miss something here?

Even something more odd.  The current guy I’m interested in…is Catholic.  He knows EVERYTHING about me.  Yet, he’s still interested.  Funny considering that Catholicism is one of the more stricter religions.

Not like I’m a horrible person or anything, but no one is perfect.  He’s admitted his faults to me.  I’ve definately seen him in not so great situations.  But you know what…at the end of the day…someone not lying, not being dishonest, and just being upfront about who they are and what they want are absolutely what anyone deserves in something platonic or romantic.  If you don’t treat people with respect…how can you expect to be treated the same way….?

Press in Brazil…and Target.

Revista Magazine in Brazil did a smashing story about the ecnonomy, featuring me and Ricks’ Cabaret.  Of course I cannot read the language it’s in…but hey…if anyone can and cares to let me know what it says, let me know.  Check it here:

I totally forgot about doing this interview.  I did many of these about two months ago and they’re starting to resurface and refresh my memory, which is kind of cool…

I wish summer would get here.  I mean officially get here.  It’s been cold and rainy in New York for what seems likes days.  I haven’t felt super inspired lately to write much…but then again, it could be due to the fact that I just got home from working a three day in a row mega shift.  Let’s hope that my brain will revert back to “normal” tomorrow in the am/pm, whenever I arise.

One exciting thing…I’m redecorating my apartment…I’m buying new furniture tomorrow and going to Target.  Wow…the exciting life a stripper lives…exciting stuff I know.  I wish there was a Target in Manhattan.  I wish they would get rid of the two lousy K-Mart’s that the city has and replace them with Target.  Why can’t that happen?  Why are there only Targhettos’ (Targets in outbouroughs that don’t have good stuff)?  I don’t like the Kathy Ireland clothing line there, and I although I’ve heard that the Martha Stewart paint is really great, I think anything at Target would be better.

I once met a high up from Target at a convention years ago and I asked him why there wasn’t one in the city.  He really couldn’t give me a good answer.

Blog Block…

This rainy weather certainly has me in writers blog block.

One interesting thing I will say is that I’m already working on my second book.  I’ve been brainstorming, and wrote out a number of pages today.  It’s still in the very rough stages, but slowly it’s grasping some shape/form etc…I’m excited about it.  Like my first one that’s currently being shopped, it’s a book that’s just kind of “happened”, the idea just manifested and I’m taking it and attempting to run with it, while in the meantime still working on the first-that one is my main priority.

Sorry my blog has appeared to be quite boring as of late.  Questions, comments? Blog Ideas?  Please be nice…I do not respond to haters.

Vegas, Baby VEGAS!

Very very excited….are YOU going to the expo this year?

There’s a story about me on the front page of the site…yippy yay!  Book your hotel room now, as they are booking up fast.

I’ll be sure to post more fun fabulous photos from the event, just like I did last year!

Have a great weekend…and more later!

“Girl You’ve Got a CRAZY Ass!…” amungst other things.

So I’m walking down the street the other day in my “uniform”- which consists of Old Navy workout capris, a black wife beater and black hoodie (see people, strippers do not always wear gowns and bikinis), when I hear a man that I pass in front of yell out.

“Girl, you’ve got a CRAZY ass!  Girrrrl!!!!”

I am assuming this is a compliment, uh…right?  I hope.

I’m a curvaceous young lady and far from fat, but far from stick skinny.  I used to be really self-concious about my booty.  Then thankfully in the late 90’s J-Lo made it acceptable to be well endowed in the rear. I notice that the most “compliments” I receive are when I’m wearing my “uniform”….hmm…?

Okay…on to the next topic.  So I’ve given up drinking for the time being.  I’m walking down the street (once again in my “uniform”) and I pass the liqour store I used to frequent.  The owner and his employee actually run out of the store and yell at me:

“Where have you been?!?!”

“Oh hey guys…I’m not drinking for awhile. I’ve decided to just cut back for a bit.”  I say this, expecting a “congrats” or an “Oh good for you.”  That’s not whatI get.

“What?!” the owner says looking very displeased.

“Yeah, you know, I just need a little break.”

“Oh well…you can come back in a few weeks…you know we’ll see you back.”

“Uh…well it’s going to be at LEAST for a few months.” I tell him.  No smile.  No nothing.  He looks pretty upset.  This also brings me to another topic.


Remember my letter/blog to Starbucks?

Well…my gift card finally ran out, so I went to the store and bought a box of tea that will last me for at least a week that costs me 3o cents less than I pay for it on a daily basis.

One thing that I will miss is the human interaction that I get from Starbucks.  Sometimes I think that’s what makes me go there.  I feel that they are some of my only “human” friends these days that I actually see on a daily basis.  They ask me questions about what I’ve been up to, and maybe they could care less what my answers are…but they make me feel special.

Also, thanks to Mala, Ashley, Julie, Jen and  S. The past week has been un-expected and bizarre.  I thank all of my friends for being supportive.


I love champagne…LOVE it.  Lately getting a glass or bottle of champagne for me at work has been like trying to find a unicorn.

Recently I have decided to completely and totally STOP drinking.  Let me tell you something.  If you want to get your hands on some champagne, do what I did.  Stop drinking, and it will be everywhere!

At our company meeting on Saturday, we were awarded with a Perrier Joet Champagne party!  YAY!  I love PJ.  It was free flowing and around the bar.  I’ve tried PJ more times than I’ve probably had diet coke.  So I had to sit at the bar and watch everyone guzzle down the champagne.

I’ve noticed that everytime I’ve tried to cut down on drinking something weird happens that prevents me from fully doing so.  The last time I tried to stop was when I was in West Hollywood walking down Santa Monica Blvd, a girlfriend and I passed “The Palms” (the nightclub…NO not the 4 star steakhouse)…we couldn’t resist the all you can drink for $5.00 sign in the door, and of course I couldn’t resist enterting the wet t-shirt contest that was there that night where I won $200….ahhh the tests we are thrown at in life.