Dogs, porn, etc…

I was bored and looking at random ad’s on Craig’s List, when I stumbled upon an ad a girl had placed: her ex and his “best friend” were no longer in the picture and she wanted to have a threesome:

With a man and his dog.

She said she’s preffer a “decent sized breed”.  Uh..I’m sorry but I don’t find beastiality sexy in the least, so please forgive me if I offend anyone who’s into it.  That’s kind of a dealbreaker in my book.

All kinds of questions started racing through my mind.  How did she bring up wanting to have sex with a dog?  Did her ex suggest it?  Did she?  If she suggested it how did she bring it up?  Did he give her an ultimatum if she didn’t.  That’s got to be a odd topic to broach when in a new relationship.  “Hey, I know we’ve been dating for 2 months now…would you consider hooking up with my dog?”

I also felt sorry for her.  This girl is single and has a very specific fetish that she’s into.  If a guy wants a threesome in a relationship, all he has to do is crack a joke about having one-he can gage if the girl will go for it by her reaction.  The whole dog thing just isn’t the same.  There’s nothing sexy cracking a joke by saying, “I want your bulldog to go down on me.”  With that being said, I’m sure this girl is a sweet person and I hope that she finds what she’s looking for.

For some reason, this has made me remember my ex from years ago telling me that he “hated” porn.

“Listen,” I said.  “I see nothing wrong with you watching porn, seriously.  You don’t have to lie about it.” He assured me up and down that he indeed hated it and that he owned none.

A few weeks later he goes to work.  I’m looking for a sweater in his closet and I discover a VHS “tower”.  “Hmmm why aren’t these with his VHS collection in the living room?”  I pop one in the VCR, and yes…it’s porn.  I pop in several tapes.  All porn.  I was mad that he lied about it and never confronted him.

Today I got lost downtown.  Twice.  You’d think that after ten years I’d have some idea of where I was.  At first I was in Chinatown and couldn’t find my way out for awhile, then Tribeca, which I thought I knew, then reached the outskirts of Wall Street, then City Hall.  Suddenly I discovered that I was right by the Brooklyn Bridge.  My plan had been to walk through Soho but I couldn’t find it.  I was so drained from walking around trying to figure out where I was and how I got there, I just took the subway home.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s