There she is!…

Well did you watch it?  Miss America was on last night and I must say it was exactly what I expected it to be.  Somewhat of a trainwreck, so bad I couldn’t help but watch.

The opening number was super lame.  A poorly choreographed dance-if you could even call it dancing-routine.  Everyone wore jeans and black t-shirts.  The song was “Four Minutes” by Madonna and Justin Timberlake.  Mario Lopez danced around the girls, it was pretty bad.

I DVR’d the pageant so I could fast forward through the commercials, but I actually managed to catch it live at Vinyl Diner in Hells Kitchen-sans volume on television.  I was surrounded by several gay men who’s eyes were glued to the television as if it were a football game.  We all made fun of the winner’s dress, Miss Indiana, who was quite attractive but her dress reminded me of something from “Purple Rain”.

Being a former pageant girl, Miss Omaha circa late 90’s, I of course was rooting for Miss Nebraska who never has made the top ten.  I bet that sucks.  I bet every year the pageant board must think to themselves, “This is THE year…this is the year Miss Nebraska will be in the top ten.”  Nope once again it didn’t happen.  I’ve heard that the Miss America people are pretty political in the choice of who wins and who doesn’t.

The swimwear competition was interesting.  The girls come out on the stage and do a little slutty dance, then the pageant “walk”.  After that, three girls were eliminated.  I’m sure some eating disorders are going to happen because of that.  The evening wear portion of the night isn’t even worth mentioning.  Lots of bad fashion choices.

The talent portion was pretty interesting.  I have a vivid memory of Miss Florida dancing around with a frying pan.  Miss Georgia sang “Home” from “The Wiz” which is a pageant staple.

So Miss Indiana won the pageant, I certainly hope someone helps  her with her fashion decisions in the next year.

I’m sure that there were a lot of drunk sad women last night in Vegas.  Vegas is the perfect place to lose a pageant in because you can do everything the pageant board would frown upon there.  All-you-can-eat buffet. gambling, getting wasted, and having sex with a stranger.  I bet someone gets pregnant.

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